[Article updated on 19/09/2023]
The body, the physique, the bodysuit or this mass of flesh which surrounds us is very often the seat of insults, devaluation, diets draconians… This body which suffers from disenchantment, which makes one dissatisfied, which is mistreated by words or actions which go against its nature, has asked nothing of it…
What if we said stop? What if we learned to understand and love this carnal envelope with the aim of finally being at peace with it, of accepting ourselves and freeing ourselves from it?
Our body has been influenced by society over the centuries; here we will talk about women’s bodies in particular.
Throughout history, society has imposed on us a very strict, rigid body image, defining the body as the criterion of beauty par excellence.
But how do we find our place? How can we be satisfied with who we are knowing that it is impossible to become a clone of these standards of beauty which are retouched by software?
In this article, I offer you the keys to freeing yourself from looking at our body in order to become yourself, quite simply and magnificently.
The evolution of the body over the centuries
From antiquity to today, if there is one observation that we can make, it is that the criterion of beauty and body image has evolved a lot, going through all the extremes!
In the Paleolithic era, if you were born in Europe you were loved in flesh and curves but if you were from Egypt it was thin, muscular and slender that you were adored and revered. If you were Chinese you were forced to have mutilated feet, shaped like a lotus flower with a slim figure, very pale skin and big eyes.
In the Middle Ages it was blondes who had success with a wasp waist, then during the Renaissance the standards of beauty became very pale, white and very round.
In the 1920s the ideal woman had a flat chest, a petite figure, short-cut hair and a tomboyish style.
After the war, thinness was a sign of poor health so we loved sensual and curvy women like the famous Marilyn Monroe.
Then, as cinema became more and more popular, it offered us its share of dictates about female bodies which could range from luscious sensuality to the hyper slimness/androgynous thinness that we can observe today.
Current body image: focus on our times
In 2020 we can clearly identify two trends, two silhouettes considered “the norm”.
On the one hand we have bodies that reflect hyper-thinness, without hair or bulges, these top models who starve themselves in order to stay on the podium at all costs. Bodies of women that resemble those of men and bodies of men that resemble those of women, shapeless, pale, almost skeletal.
On the other hand we observe excessively curvy women with very generous, plump buttocks (besides we wonder how is it possible to have such a behind without going through surgery?) while still having an extreme wasp waist.
But it seems to me that a very important notion has been forgotten in all this parade of idealized bodies… The singularity of each and every one! No two women can be alike, we carry within us our history, our wounds and our body is a reflection of who we are. No two bodies can be identical… And yet that’s what they try to make us believe!
Don’t forget your sin-gu-la-rity! You are unique, no two are like you… It’s simply impossible.
What makes a woman beautiful is not the size of her thighs, her buttocks or her hips but what she exudes… Self-confidence and assurance. A woman (or a man) who looks good in her sneakers and regardless of her physique will be much more luminous and radiant than another who “fits the norm”. Don’t forget the place of the mind and psychological well-being in “beauty”.
How to love my body: tips and exercises
Being comfortable in one’s own skin may require work of introspection and personal development because it may be a deeply rooted ghost from the past, but in the meantime (possible work on oneself if necessary) I will give you my practical tips to help you feel better about yourself. feel good in your body and help you love it a little more every day!
- Massage your body: it is essential to touch its envelope, to know it and above all to bring it well-being. You can use creams but I recommend oils which, being oilier, will take more time to fully penetrate your skin and therefore more massage time. Massage yourself with your hands, with a glove or any other utensil that will allow you to take care of yourself.
You don’t have to be in front of your mirror for this time, especially if your image bothers you. You can simply apply your oil quietly after the shower, in peace, just with yourself. It’s a time for yourself, with yourself. - Positive thoughts about your body : saying words of love, sweet words and preventing negative thoughts from passing is my second piece of advice. Say stop to insults, devaluation and guilt. Take the problem in reverse and whisper compliments to your body, to the parts that you like the least: “I love you”, “you are beautiful just the way you are”, “you are sexy”,… By dint of repetitions you will end up truly believing in these words and they will gradually anchor themselves in you (and heal your ailments).
- Mindfulness and breathing : for better reappropriation of the body! Taking the time to breathe mindfully will allow you to concentrate on yourself, completely. You can start by simply observing your breathing for a few minutes and then breathe into different parts of your body (your face, shoulders, ribcage or stomach). The goal is to be attentive to these parts of the body that you never think about. To be there, with you, in the present moment.
Don’t forget that there are audios, videos, free applications and many other possibilities to practice this exercise.
So here are my keys to help you love your body again (or for the first time)! It is with patience and training that you will succeed in mastering these tools, which have tremendous power when used well.
Loving your body is possible, it’s up to you!